Hick and Willie Discuss Their New PBS Show,
‘Art Talk & Chinese Cooking’

by James Cummins

Hick:

“You know that ‘Art Talk’ show you pitched to PBS?
Are you sure?  We’re critics.  Can we tell people how
to fix their art?  We drink the milk—we’re not the cow.
They’ll start us a new network: Wannabe BS.”

 

Willie:

“I amended the proposal.  Now it’s ‘Art Talk
& Chinese Cooking.’ So big deal—so we’re not hands-on artists! Give us a kitchen and some pans,
we’ll talk art talk AND walk the Wok!”

 

Hick:

“I can see it now.  ‘From MFA to MSG:
Steal Painting Tips and Recipes like a Klepto.’
We’ll have to keep a supply of Pepto-
Dismal next to the coffee-table Feng Shui.”

 

Willie:

“Our listeners want to grab a Scotch, put up their feet.
You think they want to look at Renoir,
or read about ‘complacencies of the peignoir,’
24/7?  Everybody has to eat.”